#LIFTINGMINDS: Gagan's story

I’m so grateful for LIFT Bhangra carrying out this social action project. It’s crazy how within the Asian community the awareness in regards to mental health is severely lacked. I am so glad to be able to share my journey with you guys!

It all started kicking in when I started feeling so trapped in my own thoughts. It’s different for everyone, growing up being the only child I was always quite reserved. I wouldn’t share a single thing with anyone. Coming across so many different situations during my childhood and growing up in general led to a whole build up that initially first started bothering me in January 2017 however, it fully hit me at the end of 2018. I’d constantly sleep through the day falling back on University work or just avoiding people.  There were days where I just hoped to never get up. I started having the worst nightmares and had no hope for the future. The state of your mind is so important but you have times when people will never understand why you behave in certain ways. For me it constantly lead to panic attacks and anxiety. I’d just feel so uneasy and out of place. There would be times where I would it the most amazing environment but still feel so lost and unhappy. I’d lost my appetite and fully been demotivated to the fact that I’d run away from any responsibilities. During the days I’d experience a range of different emotions. There had been times where I’d sit in the complete wrong lecture halls or literally the on the wrong train back home. Certain friends/acquaintances/ family members contributed to these feelings, who end up making you feel worthless and unvalued. Some will never be able to understand where you are exactly coming from. Though you learn through that experience itself it’s so crucial to seek help and get help from the right set of people. People who won’t look out to be credited or accuse you of being used. Maintaining a positive and non toxic environment around myself vastly helped. Doing ‘Rangeela 2019’ helped me greatly! I’d always been interested in Bhangra but actually being part of a great team helped a lot. The whole excitement of meeting new people and having something to distract you is absolutely amazing especially when there’s a positive atmosphere. Bhangra was the way that gave me encouragement to actually start gradually focusing on myself and give me the joy which I’d been missing out on. It further allowed me to seek counselling - the best thing I have ever done for myself till date. I’ve now started focusing on myself and tend to share problems and discuss anything which bothers me with my close ones. Yes, you tend to come across certain issues. You tend to feel worthless and feel like no one is there for you. It’s completely normal but it’s so important to remember that there will always be someone out there to look out for you. I assure you that. I’m glad to have come across some amazing people through this journey and also made my connection with old friends/certain family members so much stronger. Making me the happiest I’ve ever been.

Thank you for taking out your time for reading my blog, I hope you guys always stay blessed with all the happiness you deserve!