#QuarantineDiaries : Kiran Phagura

This period of lockdown is probably the most challenging thing many of us will face in terms of mental health and wellbeing. It is a situation that I thought I would struggle with, but instead I have found a level of peace in this time. Sometimes we cannot control a situation, and whilst that may be frustrating and upsetting, it’s important that we adapt our mindset. The landscape can’t change, but our eyes can.

It is natural to feel anxious and trapped with your thoughts during this time whilst we’re stuck at home. What is important right now is to use this time to confront your thoughts and things you have been trying to suppress. This is the perfect time to work on your personal growth. By using this time to practise mental wellbeing and reflection, I am in the best mental space I have been in for years. It is definitely one of the most challenging things to do, but you have to begin somewhere.

Everyone has a voice inside their heads which tell us how we should and shouldn’t be. What we fail to recognise is that we have created this voice ourselves, meaning we are the reason for our own divided thoughts, it is ourselves telling us that we should be a certain way. I believe that these rules we create for ourselves come from a mixture of things; a main one being social media. People put themselves on a digital platform and other people base their judgements off of a photo or video. This platform is one which is filtered from reality, pain and truth – yet this is what we compare ourselves to and aspire towards. Making these constant comparisons is unhealthy, and we need to reach a level of mindfulness which allows us not to get reality and non-reality mixed up.

Whilst social media is important during this time to stay connected to people, it is important we do not become too reliant upon it for other purposes. It is important to detox from social media once in a while and be alone with yourself. Ironically, many people don’t even know about themselves or who they are, as we are constantly being distracted by things such as social media and our daily hobbies. Use this time at home to challenge yourself to spend time alone. Recognise what brings you joy, recognise what is no longer worth your energy, and start by making small changes.

Spend time learning about what you like and what you don’t like, and surround yourself only with people who genuinely add value to your days. If they don’t, know your boundaries and allow yourself to say no. Take responsibility to apologise for your mistakes – both towards yourself and others – and work on yourself to become better. I think this is the first step to overcoming a situation, recognising your mistakes and being kind and mindful enough to apologise. We all have baggage, but we can all use this time in a positive way to figure out how to unpack it and how to face the mess we have been carrying around with us. Use this time to sit down and figure out what to take with you and what to leave behind, because otherwise we will spend the rest of our lives being troubled with our own thoughts.

‘Happiness’ is never in the hands of other people or other things. It is never about a job, or a relationship, or your degree, or your friends. Happiness stems from self-acceptance and taking care of your thoughts whilst you are alone, and it is important to realise that happiness is still possible in the absence of our social lives, friends, relationships etc.

That being said, of course we need to allow ourselves to find comfort and joy in these things too, as these things should add to your life. If there’s anything this period has taught me, it is to remain kind and do not take people for granted. This time has made me realise that life is too short to show anything but gratitude and love to the people in your life as you never know what may happen. We never really know the extent to what personal battles people are going through, and we must remember to always be kind and show gratitude.

People often have the desire to be in a certain mental space ‘before’ they get a job, or get into a relationship or after finishing uni etc. What I’ve realised is that mental health isn’t a certain state of mind, or isn’t a destination when you find ‘peace’. It’s a journey, and as long as we are taking steps, no matter how small, we are still moving forward. We all have days where we feel down for no reason, and some days that voice in our head is louder than other days, (especially during this period of quarantine), but what we need to remember is that everything is temporary, and that voice doesn’t actually exist, it’s just us being at battle with ourselves.

I have definitely used this time to bring myself into a better mental space, and although there are still bad moments, I am enjoying the journey. I hope we can all find ways to use this time positively, and remember we do not need to put pressure on ourselves to be productive every day. One productive thing in a week is still a step forward in the right direction.

Also, stay home and stay safe! :)